Update: AITA for having second thoughts about marrying my fiancé after a drunk comment?
So, Alex tried to apologize. The morning after we went out he pretended everything was okay and was as sweet with me as usual, but I was short with him and ignored his texts all day leaving for work. When we both got home in the evening I still couldn't even look at him and so he asked me what was wrong and I told him. Apparently he hardly remembers a thing after we finished bowling - he recalls walking home and saying some things he felt embarrassed about and then sitting outside and cuddling with me on the porch.
I told him exactly what I remember him saying and he looked mortified. He apologized profusely and told me I'm the only person he's slept with and ever cared this much about, but I told him he'd humiliated me and made me feel like I was the problem and needed some time apart, so he volunteered to go stay with his brother to give me some space.
He's since spent the rest of the evening and today trying to make it right, leaving voicemails and texting that he really didn’t mean to hurt me and that he was drunk and stupid. He kept reiterating that I'm the best thing that's happened to him and the sex he had before was meaningless and that "you're my #1 as far as anyone I've slept with that matters". It just made me madder. Like he's now lying to save face and trying to manipulate me into feeling like I'm overreacting after making me feel like a lesser partner in bed.
I finally told him to stop and told him I didn't believe a word he said anymore and that even if he's being sincere, nothing he says will undo the fact that deep down he'll always think of me as a consolation prize to some "sex goddess" and his male buddy. I'm honestly also second guessing if he even likes women and am not ready to deal with being with someone who's questioning their sexuality.
He started crying (again) and said he just wanted to open up to me since we've never had the conversation about previous partners and in his drunk state he thought we were at that point where we could have honest conversations about what we like in bed, but regrets the timing and letting it slip while drunk. He said he'd move out and leave me alone but hopes I won't share what he told me with family and mutual friends, which I agreed to.
I don’t feel bad about ending things. He clearly didn’t think before speaking, and now he’s just trying to patch it up and minimize it as "mistake" and "attempt at an honest conversation" when I know he's just trying to lower my self esteem and make me feel like I need to to turn into a "sex goddess" in bed or be more like a man. I've realized my self worth and I'm no one's bronze medal. I appreciate all of the comments and kind words on the last post helping me realize this ❤️