Update2 : Girlfriend (f27) is wanting me (m31) to attend her works corporate party as a plus 1 and I don't feel comfortable with it

Hi all,

I previously posted about how I was apprehensive about attending my girlfriends Christmas party as a plus one as I thought it be awkward for me as she had previously had a threesome with two guys from her work when single at another company event;

OG - https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/Px3AGagpzo

Update - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC/s/c5HarmBzq9

Now that I’m off work (and the various festivities and hangovers have finally gone!) Ive had a bit of time to process and write up an update about this work party that I had previously felt apprehensive about. After posting here could I please state that obviously I appreciated any positive messages and DMs that have helped me, however, could the bombardment of negative DMs about my relationship please stop!!

Obviously, after talking to my partner we decided it would be good for us to attend the night as a couple.

I’ve gotten over my own issues and mindset. Any awkwardness is my own doing and that her own past choices that she is happy with are not something that I as a supportive partner should be holding against her or something that stops our relationship progressing!

Anyway the venue was pretty fancy, in a nice hotel decked out for Christmas, with decent food, live music, and an open bar (which helped). To be honest my work nights out are pretty low key in comparison and also was good to get a free meal and night away!

Meeting her coworkers went about as well as could be. Since my girlfriend works in a company with different teams in different cities, the tables were arranged like this for the meal, so we ended up sitting with her team, including the two coworkers I had been worried about. Most people were friendly and welcoming, although I do have to admit the company does have that finance bro vibe I thought it would have. There is a lot of younger people, on good salaries with large commission bonuses, who I can see are quite competitive and admittedly that type of person and environment isn’t my scene, I’d find it pretty toxic, but I get that it’s not my industry and that’s the way these companies work.

After the meal we then moved on to the (free) bar for the evening for everyone else to mingle. One of the guys was surprisingly easy to get along with. He was with his partner and he came across as genuine and didn’t try to make anything awkward. He introduced himself politely, and afterwards chatted for 5/10 mins at the bar with me about normal stuff like work and football. Nothing that would be uncomfortable for any of us. Honestly, seemed like a decent guy.

The other guy, I felt was a different story. He wasn’t rude or anything, but there was an energy about him that rubbed me the wrong way. He was there on his own, more happy to chat directly with those he already keeps company with and had this cocky vibe. At one point, he did make a comment which I could have interpreted as a dig but it was vague and wasn’t something I would justify with a reply if it was.

The biggest thing for me was that the people who said I shouldn’t go were wrong. I had this fear that we could be the target of jokes or that people would see me as weak for being uncomfortable about the situation. But that didn’t happen. Most people either didn’t know or didn’t care about any past, and if they did were respectful enough to leave it alone.

The advice I got here about showing up for your significant other and focusing on our relationship instead of what others might think turned out to be spot on. The only thing that really mattered was how she and I felt about the night, and she was over the moon that I was there. She told me afterward how much it meant to her not going on her own, and honestly, that made any awkwardness I felt totally worth it.

TL;DR: The party went well. I’m glad I went and overall it was a good night and a win for our relationship.