I am very confused with the current relationship I have with my flatmate
So I (25M) live in a house share in London with 2 other people. The girl that has just moved in last month (25F) is great and we had a chance to bond when we did the initial viewing for the place with me and my other current flatmate. Me and the girl basically kicked it off straight away and just got along very very well, like too well. We had lots in common, we have the same sense of humour and we just really enjoy spending time with each other. We also bonded over the fact that we both got out of very toxic relationships 1 year ago also (my last relationship was a total of 7 years and hers was 4)
In the space of the 2 weeks of knowing her, we ended up cuddling up a lot more and just really enjoying each other's company, then one night she drops a bomb and says she has feelings for me, of course I felt the same way but I always struggled with expressing how I feel with fear of being put/shut down by my last relationship. We agreed that because we are living together, we can take things slow and probably not sleep with each other or do anything else of the kind.
Fast track to the last 2 weeks, we went against that completely and slept in the same bed, had sex and just ended up doing all the stuff people that are dating would do but just with no proper label.
We spoke about it again and I just really wanted to go for it because it was just so good and I haven't felt like this about someone in such a long time, and it just felt good to be treated correctly. But her on the other hand, said she just didn't want to get into a relationship right now because she still hasn't properly moved on from her traumatic last relationship and she still hasn't properly processed her feelings yet, which I respect. We ended up setting boundaries where we wouldn't sleep with each other anymore but we could still just keep doing what we were doing just without any sexual pleasure involved.
Overall, I am just so confused with what's happening, I am a very affectionate person and she is too and it basically feels like we are dating but we aren't and the fact that I have only known her for a little over a month and we feel this comfortable and chill with each other, it just seems too good to be true. I would love to date this girl but I know I can't, so should I just stop the affection overall if I know nothing is going to come out of it? Or because this just feels nice, should I keep just doing what I am doing and enjoy what is happening? Because of my last traumatic relationship, where I was just never respected or treated well, this just feels great and it is just making me happy, but at the same time, I don't wanna get my hopes up for anything to happen because I know that I struggle with emotionally detaching from a situation like this and I fear that it will hurt in the long run.
Sorry in advanced if this is confusing, this is my first time really using reddit like this, any help or advice will be much appreciated via the comments or private messaging. Thank you!
TLDR: I (25M) live in a London house share and quickly bonded with my new flatmate (25F). We connected deeply, shared similar past toxic relationships, and soon developed feelings. Despite agreeing to take things slow, we ended up getting intimate but later set boundaries to stop the sexual aspect while keeping the affection. I’d love to date her, but she’s not ready for a relationship, which I respect. I enjoy how she treats me, especially after my past relationship, but I worry I’ll struggle to detach emotionally and get hurt. Should I stop the affection or just enjoy it for now?